Motivation, Observation, and Picking Up New Habits
A few months ago, I was working with one of my patients and noticed his gums were red and somewhat swollen, so I started talking to him about the inflammation I was seeing. He replied, “You don’t think it’s because 30 minutes before I got here, I brushed my teeth like crazy, had my Waterpik on high, and used like 100 flossers?” That made both of us of laugh.
While at dinner last week one of my husband’s colleagues asked me about what I do and when I told him I was a dental hygienist he launched into a story about his nightguard and his gum measurements. and his wife leaned in and said, “She doesn’t want to talk about this.” Believe me – I do! It didn’t take much encouragement for him to keep going. He shared that he’s seen the same hygienist for years and gets disappointed when she’s not there at his appointments because he wants her to see how good he is doing.
Both people were motivated, though likely for different reasons. The first person may have cleaned his teeth in a frenzy right before his appointment because he didn’t want to be scolded or judged. The second is proud of his efforts and seeks recognition for them.
Motivation Comes and Goes
We all know how it feels to suffer from a lack of motivation. I told that patient what I tell everyone when they slack off on their home care: motivation is not a personality trait. It ebbs and flows. That’s why consistent habits matter so much – motivation alone cannot be relied upon.
Social scientists and behavioral economists have done a lot of research on what motives people. One reason we struggle to focus on a goal is that the consequences seem far off. Take retirement for example. It’s easier for someone in their 60’s to contribute to a 401(k) because the finish line is in sight. By contrast, saving for retirement in your 20’s feels less urgent – even though we know that starting early is better. Retirement just seems … so far away.
Maybe that’s what happened with my patient that tried to make up for six months of semi-neglect by flossing like crazy right before his appointment. Maybe it just snuck up on him and he ran out of time for all his good intentions.
The Effect of Observation
Did you know that watching someone perform an action activates similar areas of the brain as doing the action yourself? It was once believed that the brain processed actions sequentially: first the visual cortex (we see it), then the parietal lobe (where we process sensory information and make it useful), and finally the premotor region (which prepares movement).
But now we know the brain is more predictive. Unless something unexpected happens, we tend to see the world the way we expect to see it. Researchers at the Netherlands Institute for Neuroscience demonstrated this in an experiment where participants watched a video of someone buttering a roll – once in a typical sequence, and once in a scrambled order. When the video followed the expected pattern (pick up the roll, then a knife, cut it, scoop some butter) the brain skipped the visual region and activated the parietal and premotor regions directly. But when the sequence was scrambled, the visual cortex lit up first.
Now, think about something that you live vicariously through. Maybe you watch cooking shows, DIY projects, or athletes talking about discipline on social media. You’re absorbed, inspired – but still just watching, not doing. And that’s okay. Because you could do it, if you wanted to, right?
I mean, if after watching two hours of Ina Garten bake doesn’t convince you that you can make homemade vanilla extract, then go ahead and take the paring knife out of your Amazon cart, because I don’t know what will.
There are definite benefits to watching experts. It’s inspiring, it builds confidence, and it lets us momentarily step into the shoes of the person we want to become. But watching and doing aren’t the same. Learning a new skill requires consistent effort, not just visualization. Without the physiological experience that comes with real practice, new habits rarely stick.
Suggested Strategies
Whether your goal is to improve your oral health, organize the garage, or launch a business, here are three strategies to help you follow through:
1. Anticipate obstacles. Olympic Champion Eliud Kipchoge 1 famously said, “Success does not come on a silver platter.” Life throws curve balls. Problems arise. One way to overcome obstacles is to plan for them in advance. Try using IF-THEN statements. For example, swimmer Michael Phelps had this strategy: IF my goggles fill with water, THEN I will count my strokes. He trained so precisely he could swim blind, knowing exactly how many strokes it would take to reach the other end of the pool. One that I often use is: IF I have negative or discouraging thoughts, THEN I will not let them linger.
2. Arrange your environment to encourage certain behaviors. In an experiment by psychologist Anne Thorndike, food items in a hospital cafeteria were labeled with colored stickers: green for nutrient-dense foods, yellow for moderate, and red for low-nutrition, high calorie options. Healthier items were also placed at eye level. Over time, people made better food choices simply by becoming more aware. You can try the same approach at home. Want your child to read more? Place a bookshelf in their room so they see books first thing in the morning and before bed. Want them to choose healthier snacks? Put fruits and veggies at eye level in the fridge.
3. Do it because you want to. A friend once told me, “Doing something simply because you want to is reason enough.” That advice was freeing! I started Empowering Smiles because I wanted to – and because I could. I’ve found that sharing my goals with supportive, open-minded people serves me far better than broadcasting them to everyone. Especially when your dreams are in the early stages, protect them. You don’t have to convince your critics. Do it for yourself and let them say later that they knew you could all along.
- I don’t have a picture with Kipchoge but the cover image for this post is me with another world record marathoner, Belayneh Densamo at the Boston Marathon in 2005.[↩]